Let me start by giving thanks that for each new day that God gives me. It would be easy for me to use this blog completely as a means to complain and express how horrible things can be. However, there is a bigger picture and I don't want to get stuck on the speck that I don't like. That being said, I also believe it is important to be real and share that sometimes circumstances in life just suck.
The past couple of weeks have been particularly difficult for me physically and emotionally. Unfortunately these two things thrive off of one another. I can feel bad, get upset about feeling bad and in return symptoms (especially neurological) get worse. This is why I recommend that anyone with Lyme have a psychologist they meet with regularly! It's a tough road to recovery and mental health plays a vital role.
For the past several weeks my symptoms of dizziness, shaking, and fatigue have been bad. I have felt like I have had the flu but worse. Several times I was so dizzy that I fell over. Of course with falling and major painful body aches I was afraid I was going to need to get my cane out again; something I haven't had to use for over a month now! Perhaps one of the most frustrating things was that I could barely get my kids ready for school, and I couldn't get them there because I couldn't drive in the condition I was in. This meant calling on others to help me out, and that is always difficult for me.
Asking people for help is not something anyone really wants to do. It means admitting that you are not completely self-sufficient and that you can't do life on your own. I personally HATE calling my friends and family and asking for help. I know it is inconvenient for them. Plus, it lets them know that I am not 100% and that is a bummer too. There is the good news: asking for help kills pride and gives others a chance to serve. Which of course is biblical and essential for spiritual growth and character building.
Since I have been doing so so so much better over the past couple of months, I wanted to brush my continued struggle under the rug. I wanted everyone, including myself, to believe I was well, that treatment was exactly what I needed, and no one need be concerned anymore. Treatment is exactly what I needed, but being 100% after a few months is unrealistic with the way that Lyme has ravished my body. My latest tests results showed improvement in areas! YAY!! However, the Spirochetes are still present. I am still going to Herx and sometimes at this point in the game and with the supplements/meds I am on, a Herx can last a couple of weeks.
