What Did I Expect?

Let me start by giving thanks that for each new day that God gives me. It would be easy for me to use this blog completely as a means to complain and express how horrible things can be. However, there is a bigger picture and I don't want to get stuck on the speck that I don't like. That being said, I also believe it is important to be real and share that sometimes circumstances in life just suck.

The past couple of weeks have been particularly difficult for me physically and emotionally. Unfortunately these two things thrive off of one another. I can feel bad, get upset about feeling bad and in return symptoms (especially neurological) get worse. This is why I recommend that anyone with Lyme have a psychologist they meet with regularly! It's a tough road to recovery and mental health plays a vital role.

For the past several weeks my symptoms of dizziness, shaking, and fatigue have been bad. I have felt like I have had the flu but worse. Several times I was so dizzy that I fell over. Of course with falling and major painful body aches I was afraid I was going to need to get my cane out again; something I haven't had to use for over a month now! Perhaps one of the most frustrating things was that I could barely get my kids ready for school, and I couldn't get them there because I couldn't drive in the condition I was in. This meant calling on others to help me out, and that is always difficult for me.

Asking people for help is not something anyone really wants to do. It means admitting that you are not completely self-sufficient and that you can't do life on your own. I personally HATE calling my friends and family and asking for help. I know it is inconvenient for them. Plus, it lets them know that I am not 100% and that is a bummer too. There is the good news: asking for help kills pride and gives others a chance to serve. Which of course is biblical and essential for spiritual growth and character building.

Since I have been doing so so so much better over the past couple of months, I wanted to brush my continued struggle under the rug. I wanted everyone, including myself, to believe I was well, that treatment was exactly what I needed, and no one need be concerned anymore. Treatment is exactly what I needed, but being 100% after a few months is unrealistic with the way that Lyme has ravished my body. My latest tests results showed improvement in areas! YAY!! However, the Spirochetes are still present. I am still going to Herx and sometimes at this point in the game and with the supplements/meds I am on, a Herx can last a couple of weeks.

Symptoms

Symptoms of Lyme vary somewhat depending on the individual and how the Lyme is affecting their body. In an earlier post I shared a little about the beginning symptoms I had; in this post I want to go into greater detail so that you will have a better idea of what can happen the longer you go undiagnosed.

FATIGUE - MAJOR FATIGUE
I have always loved sleeping and I am a mama of three so an amount of fatigue and sleep deprivation is expected, but not like what I felt. I had hardly any energy and felt like sleeping a lot.

MUSCLE PAIN
The muscle pain I experienced was a deep pain mainly in my arms and legs. The pain was pretty much constant and got worse the longer I went untreated.

TREMORS
The tremors I experienced were primarily in my right leg. My leg has had small tremors throughout the years whenever my back would be in pain, but they usually were brief and could be settled with some stretching or rest. The tremors that accompanied the Lyme would last a long time. As time went on the tremors moved into my entire body.

FACIAL PALSY
This is a picture of what the facial palsy looked like for me. I could not keep my face from what felt like a strong force of gravity pulling it down on one side.

NEUROPATHY
Mainly experienced in my arms and back. Wearing clothes was uncomfortable and even the lightest touches would cause a "knee-jerk reaction" to pull away. This also included tingling in my hands at times.

DIZZY & EYES ROLLING BACK
Felt like my head was spinning around causing it very hard to hold my head up. This was often accompanied by my eyes rolling back in my head. First my eyes would blink uncontrollably and then roll back.

UNABLE TO WALK
It's very difficult to walk when you feel off balance. My body would shift to one side making it nearly impossible to stand straight up. A cane became my best friend!

STUTTERING/LOSS OF SPEECH
My speech at times, not always, would become slurred, slow and I would begin to stutter. It was very difficult to get words out. I could almost see them in my mind and yet I could not speak them.

BRAIN FOG
Very difficult to think clearly. Had a hard time formulating or expressing my thoughts.

BURNING FEET
When I was at my worse my feet felt like they were on fire.