In the Wilderness While the Storm Rages

 I just need to get this out there...Regression SUCKS!! I hate it, hate it, hate it. Right now I am trying to write this post and it is hard to even keep my head up straight. I have been sick off and on for the past month; I don't know why. This week has been very bad. Shaking, major pain in the bone behind my ears. Hard to walk. Lots of the old symptoms are back. I have felt like screaming and yesterday actually put the pillow over my head and let out a few yells.

I keep asking myself, "How can I thank God for this disease(s)?" Yes, diseases plural because this week I found out I have Celiac. Well, I actually was thankful to find this out because it was one more piece to the puzzle. So, I have been telling God that I am having a difficult time saying thank you for where I am at right now. Then, I am reminded that I am in the wilderness with a raging storm. When I am in the "wilderness" the main thing I am thankful for is to know that I am being made stronger in character. That God is moving and molding my life and that it will effect others.

There was a really amazing sermon preached a while back by Keith Simon entitled Living in the Wilderness . I can't tell you how much this sermon has helped me. Honestly, I am not going to try to explain it because you really need to hear it. Really! It doesn't matter if you are sick or healthy this sermon will impact your life at some point, in some way, and you will be able to go back to God's word and remember that he knows right where you are at and is in control.

One more thing that I want to share that has been a real comfort to me for quite a few years now, during other storms in my life is a song by Casting Crowns entitled "Praise You in this Storm." No matter what our circumstance we can praise God, because no matter how awful we feel or how desperate our situation, or how much we just want to disappear, WE ARE NOT ALONE.

Symptoms

Symptoms of Lyme vary somewhat depending on the individual and how the Lyme is affecting their body. In an earlier post I shared a little about the beginning symptoms I had; in this post I want to go into greater detail so that you will have a better idea of what can happen the longer you go undiagnosed.

FATIGUE - MAJOR FATIGUE
I have always loved sleeping and I am a mama of three so an amount of fatigue and sleep deprivation is expected, but not like what I felt. I had hardly any energy and felt like sleeping a lot.

MUSCLE PAIN
The muscle pain I experienced was a deep pain mainly in my arms and legs. The pain was pretty much constant and got worse the longer I went untreated.

TREMORS
The tremors I experienced were primarily in my right leg. My leg has had small tremors throughout the years whenever my back would be in pain, but they usually were brief and could be settled with some stretching or rest. The tremors that accompanied the Lyme would last a long time. As time went on the tremors moved into my entire body.

FACIAL PALSY
This is a picture of what the facial palsy looked like for me. I could not keep my face from what felt like a strong force of gravity pulling it down on one side.

NEUROPATHY
Mainly experienced in my arms and back. Wearing clothes was uncomfortable and even the lightest touches would cause a "knee-jerk reaction" to pull away. This also included tingling in my hands at times.

DIZZY & EYES ROLLING BACK
Felt like my head was spinning around causing it very hard to hold my head up. This was often accompanied by my eyes rolling back in my head. First my eyes would blink uncontrollably and then roll back.

UNABLE TO WALK
It's very difficult to walk when you feel off balance. My body would shift to one side making it nearly impossible to stand straight up. A cane became my best friend!

STUTTERING/LOSS OF SPEECH
My speech at times, not always, would become slurred, slow and I would begin to stutter. It was very difficult to get words out. I could almost see them in my mind and yet I could not speak them.

BRAIN FOG
Very difficult to think clearly. Had a hard time formulating or expressing my thoughts.

BURNING FEET
When I was at my worse my feet felt like they were on fire.