I am glad, I am sad, My facial spasms make me mad.
I would like to tell you that everyday I live I am extremely thankful for all of the blessings God has given me. I would like to tell you that I never focus on the negative and that each morning I jump out of bed with a renewed hope. I think this is the face I try to show people but so I often I am just posing. I am the exact person that Brennan Manning talks about in his book "Posers, Fakers and Wannabes".
I realized
Friday, September 26, 2014
Monday, September 1, 2014
3 Strikes Your Out OR 3rd Times a Charm
Well, it has been about a month since I last wrote. That's a sure way to get people to forget about my blog!!!
As, you may or may not know over the course of the past year and a half I have tried to get into the Mayo not once, not twice, but three times. The first time was before I got really really sick and was admitted to Barnes Jewish. I was rejected that time I think, because I had not exhausted all of the resources around me. Then the second time was recently. I thought for sure I would get in because I had exhausted all of the resources around me. Within a week of applying to the neurology department I was sent a letter stating that there was nothing more they could do, but if my doctor wanted to talk with the "on-call" doctor about it they could. So, one of my doctors offices called and finally convinced the neurology department to take another look at my case. In no time at all I received a third letter stating they would not see me.
I believe it is easy to look at this as 3 Strikes I am out, there is nothing more for me to do but sit in the dug out and feel dejected. OR, I can choose to look at the Mayo rejecting me 3 times as "3rd Times a Charm" and here is why…
Over the course of the past couple of years I have been blessed to attend a retreat in Atlanta, GA for mom's with adoptive kids called Created 4 Care. The first year one of the leaders of the retreat mentioned how she had been so sick and couldn't walk and had to hire help etc. I wasn't personally to that state quite yet, but I was very close. When I inquired what she had, I found out she had had Lyme. Shortly after the retreat, I too was diagnosed with Lyme. This past year I attended the retreat again and the lady was doing awesome. I found out she had never even been treated with antibiotics; even though it took her a year she was all better. AMAZING! I wanted to know where she had gone and what treatment she had done.
In the meantime at the retreat, right after worship, the lady sitting next to me asked me if I had Lyme. Kind of an out of no where question! I told her yes and she proceeded to tell me she had been looking for me because someone had mentioned me to her and that I had Lyme. She was excited to have happened to sit by me (this is not a small conference people) and wanted to talk to me about herself and her friend's experience with Lyme. She had been struggling for years and but she had just gone to a doctor with her friend there in Atlanta and was thinking about going to see him. Her friend had had Lyme and was better after about a year of treatment. Guess what, she went to the same doctor that conference leader had gone to.
So I took this all in and thought it was cool and that I should see what kind of treatment this doctor did and if there was anything like it in MO, because GA is kind of far to be going to the doctor. When I got back I started some alternative treatments and seemed to be getting some better but progress was slow, which is why I finally decided to try the Mayo. I was super unsure about the Mayo and I kept praying and having friends pray about getting in because I believed that if that is where I needed to be God would get me in. However, I felt very very unsettled about it. When I didn't get in I started thinking about this place in GA and started considering going there as a real possibility. I was not content to sit in the dug out just because the Mayo wouldn't get me in. I was not content to go back on antibiotics that would continue to destroy my gut and not heal my Lyme. I was not content to be told that my problems were neuro-psychological when I had therapists telling me they did not believe this to be my issue.
So, I made an appointment and I went to GA. It was about an 11 hour trip that turned into about 13 hours. This might not sound bad but I don't travel well these days so by the time we arrived I was a shaking mess. On the up side it was great to actually be able to spend one-on-one time with my husband for that many hours with no interruptions. I think the appointment is something I am going to have to write about in another post because it is too interesting to not give you details. Right now, I am off to rest. Please check back soon, I have so many blessings to share.
As, you may or may not know over the course of the past year and a half I have tried to get into the Mayo not once, not twice, but three times. The first time was before I got really really sick and was admitted to Barnes Jewish. I was rejected that time I think, because I had not exhausted all of the resources around me. Then the second time was recently. I thought for sure I would get in because I had exhausted all of the resources around me. Within a week of applying to the neurology department I was sent a letter stating that there was nothing more they could do, but if my doctor wanted to talk with the "on-call" doctor about it they could. So, one of my doctors offices called and finally convinced the neurology department to take another look at my case. In no time at all I received a third letter stating they would not see me.
I believe it is easy to look at this as 3 Strikes I am out, there is nothing more for me to do but sit in the dug out and feel dejected. OR, I can choose to look at the Mayo rejecting me 3 times as "3rd Times a Charm" and here is why…
Over the course of the past couple of years I have been blessed to attend a retreat in Atlanta, GA for mom's with adoptive kids called Created 4 Care. The first year one of the leaders of the retreat mentioned how she had been so sick and couldn't walk and had to hire help etc. I wasn't personally to that state quite yet, but I was very close. When I inquired what she had, I found out she had had Lyme. Shortly after the retreat, I too was diagnosed with Lyme. This past year I attended the retreat again and the lady was doing awesome. I found out she had never even been treated with antibiotics; even though it took her a year she was all better. AMAZING! I wanted to know where she had gone and what treatment she had done.
In the meantime at the retreat, right after worship, the lady sitting next to me asked me if I had Lyme. Kind of an out of no where question! I told her yes and she proceeded to tell me she had been looking for me because someone had mentioned me to her and that I had Lyme. She was excited to have happened to sit by me (this is not a small conference people) and wanted to talk to me about herself and her friend's experience with Lyme. She had been struggling for years and but she had just gone to a doctor with her friend there in Atlanta and was thinking about going to see him. Her friend had had Lyme and was better after about a year of treatment. Guess what, she went to the same doctor that conference leader had gone to.
So I took this all in and thought it was cool and that I should see what kind of treatment this doctor did and if there was anything like it in MO, because GA is kind of far to be going to the doctor. When I got back I started some alternative treatments and seemed to be getting some better but progress was slow, which is why I finally decided to try the Mayo. I was super unsure about the Mayo and I kept praying and having friends pray about getting in because I believed that if that is where I needed to be God would get me in. However, I felt very very unsettled about it. When I didn't get in I started thinking about this place in GA and started considering going there as a real possibility. I was not content to sit in the dug out just because the Mayo wouldn't get me in. I was not content to go back on antibiotics that would continue to destroy my gut and not heal my Lyme. I was not content to be told that my problems were neuro-psychological when I had therapists telling me they did not believe this to be my issue.
So, I made an appointment and I went to GA. It was about an 11 hour trip that turned into about 13 hours. This might not sound bad but I don't travel well these days so by the time we arrived I was a shaking mess. On the up side it was great to actually be able to spend one-on-one time with my husband for that many hours with no interruptions. I think the appointment is something I am going to have to write about in another post because it is too interesting to not give you details. Right now, I am off to rest. Please check back soon, I have so many blessings to share.
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