Looking Back - The Beginning

When I was young and a runner I learned quickly that if I wanted to do well in the race it was best to never look behind me, because it always slowed me down. If I wanted to win I needed to keep my eye on the goal, the finish line. I have found that looking forward and be focused on a goal has been a useful lesson in many areas of my life, but I have also learned that it is not always applicable.  As, someone who is grateful to just be walking, looking back is one of the most helpful things I can do. Remembering where my health was a year ago and the strides in recovery I have made, brings me hope. So, as I lay here in bed having had several very challenging days in a row, looking back is exactly where I am going to begin this blog. My hope is that it will be informative and encouraging to you in your walk with lyme.

It was the summer of 2012, I clearly remember saying to my husband one day, "I am so tired and just don't have any energy, so I think I need to stop eating sugar." He laughed and replied that instead of cutting out sugar I might want to try working out. Ugghhh, I did NOT like working out, but I thought I would give it a try. I joined Jazzercise and for a couple of months I felt better. This new energy was short lived as the fatigue got worse and worse, to the point that Jazzersizing no matter how fun it had proved to be, was no longer an option.

At the time I had 3 small children ages 5 and under, with the youngest having only been home from Ethiopia for about 6 months. I am telling you this because many have said, the fatigue was most likely due to stress of an adoption and the life of being a mother. Honestly, I wondered about the stress and will go into this more later, but the fatigue was completely different than being worn out from chasing kiddos.

I walked around feeling like I had the flu. My muscles began to ache with severe deep penetrating pain. By Fall I wasn't only experiencing pain and fatigue but neuro-symptoms began to surface. My leg would tremor/shake uncontrollably for long periods of time. The skin on my arms and back would get so sensitive that clothes were uncomfortable. The last straw for me was when my little girl would try to give me sweet kisses on my arm and it was so painful that my arm would have a "knee-jerk reaction" and pull away. Not being able to enjoy kisses was not an option for me! I needed help.