It is 3:40 AM and I can not sleep. Totally unusual for me; this never happens; when my head hits the pillow I am out. I have been in pain all yesterday, couldn't drive, shaking, grunting tick that I have etc. It was a very hard day. Luckily I have an amazing mother who took me to the appointment I thought I had (I had wrong day, it's not until today) and took care of my kids and myself for the entire day. Super blessed!
I am still uncomfortable, regardless of the fact that I have taken all the medicine I can take and have been laying down for hours now. Usually this medicine knocks me out but for some reason, not tonight. So, I decided to blog. I find it therapeutic and hopefully it helps others too.
The latest news in my life is that I am trying to get into the neurological department at the Mayo Clinic. It is difficult to get into the Mayo. I was denied over a year ago when I tried, but I have regressed drastically since then and just about exhausted my resources here. When I called to ask for an appointment and gave them my history I literally said, "Please do not deny me an appointment. I have 3 kids and it is very difficult to function." It takes about 2 weeks for them to review my case and make a decision on if they will see me.
If you are reading this, please pray. I know God is able to get me in if that is the next step I need to take. I am trying to do my part by calling my doctors and having them contact the Mayo to recommend me. Not sure how much that helps at this point, but like I said, "God is in control."
I decided it was time to go this route by some prodding of friends and doctors. Also, while I believe that ONDAMED and Chinese Herbs with Acupuncture have been beneficial, I am still struggling majorly (I do recommend both of these treatments as alternatives or in conjunction with antibiotics). Plus, as you probably know alternative treatments are not covered by insurance. This makes a tremendous financial burden. I have decided that I can not continue to go further in debt and need to seek out the Mayo. If I am unable to get in; well I don't know what the next step will be but I trust God will show me.
Yes, I have written "trust in God and God is in control" several times in this post. I have really been struggling because I have done everything the doctors have told me to do. EVERYTHING, including seeing a psychiatrist!! That was a nightmare experience I don't care to write about now, but I am not giving up on that avenue either and will try to see another one. I am growing very very weary and the best thing I know to do is to feed my soul with God's promises. He is my rock. My peace. My joy. My deliverer. This is the scripture I have been going over and over this week…
"But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water… It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." -Jeremiah 17:7-8
What a comfort to have God's words to strengthen us. Thanks be to God.
(My first comment disappeared so sorry if this is redundant and shows up twice.) Kelly, I'm so glad I found your blog. God has brought you to mind several times over the past few weeks and I've been praying for you. I'm thankful you're pursuing Mayo again and we will earnest pray for this request and that you can rest in the Lord during this time. Much love! - Rachel (and Fam)
ReplyDeleteYou've been on my mind and heart lately too! I love you and the Horn fam will start praying regularly about Mayo and continue to pray for healing, my lovely friend. Oh I miss you.
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